Cornish Blue ~ Ye English Cheese

Finally, it has been found!

If you ask anyone from England to name a famous cheese they will probably say “Stilton”.

You find it in all the Christmas Box Selections pumped out every year by all the supermarkets and it is forever hailed as “The English Pride & Glory” of blue cheese.

But this is about as accurate as a squirrel on the moon chasing a pink lama up a tree.

This is no less than brainwashing and as testimony of this I can swear that in my entire lifetime never have I heard of any other English blue cheese.

This is even coming from a guy who has worked for a cheese company that packages these supermarket Christmas Box Selections.

Stilton, let it be known:

  • Gives you a headache
  • Makes you lethargic
  • Goes manky in the fridge
  • Stinks of toxic gas
  • Is satanic poison

Granted, I have always liked the idea of Stilton, that is to say, mild like cheddar, but a bit softer and with a mouldy personality.

But unfortunately I have always had to suffer for it by enduring the symptoms of satanic poison.

As an alternative I would sample European blues, like for example, Gorgonzola or Saint Agur, yet of course none of these could bring out the only little spark of goodness Stilton forever teased me with or thus remedy any blossoming of real English cuisine.

For they were foreign cheeses.

Thus I forever felt deprived of something an Englishman knows he deserves and hence believed that the English Cheese Platter would forever be a lost aspiration.

Until recently.

So roll out the red carpet and step right up… Cornish Blue.

Now THIS is the English blue cheese you want to get your teeth into.

Not only does it stay dry and ripened in the fridge, not only does it taste utterly delicious and not only does it compliment a digestive biscuit like a marriage made in Heaven… but it is safe to eat.

It is therefore about time we hailed the true victor in the fight for an English blue cheese.

The South West of England has yet again been the victim of a discriminatory psy-op known as “Britishness“, whereby everything is filtered through London’s egocentric agenda to remain the monopolising center of all attention.

No, no, no, let me be clear… London is a waist of space and so is Stilton on a cheese platter.

Cornish Blue ~ The English Cheese

6 thoughts on “Cornish Blue ~ Ye English Cheese

  1. Pingback: The Country Of Cornissia – Yllw Chlk

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