Zploj

Zploj Ingredients By Simon JeppsHere is an old timer recipe of mine which has served its dues for many years.

Ingredients:

  • 1 can of Baked Beans
  • 1 can of Chicken Korma
  • 3 large free range eggs

Cook the Baked Beans and Chicken Korma in separate pots until they are all sloppy and ready. This takes 5-10 minutes.

Be sure to wet the empty Korma can with some water and to swoosh it around inside. Do this with your hand cupped over the top of the can for a thorough swoosh.

This is important in order to retrieve left over residue and to provide the Korma with some moist sauciness.

Finally towards the end, get three Eggs frying in a saucepan, best fried in butter. Traditionally the Eggs should be sunnyside up and somewhat runny.

To serve, basically “zploj” the cooked inventory onto your plate, but in separate places so you can pick and taste the different flavours as you “mange”.

Best served with a side helping of fresh buttered bread and Coca-Cola.

I hope you enjoy!

Jengaagain

Jengaagain By Simon Jepps
Jengaagain ~ The next evolution of Jenga
You thought Jenga was cool… now YllwChlk brings you Jengaagain!

After playing Jenga for many years I did nevertheless become rather tired of its limitations in design.

Oh I agree that its purpose is to bring a minimalistic forte of recreational entertainment into the home… but that was just it, the game was too basic.

Eventually, following a small tantrum involving a swooping arm and a very disappointed stuffed monkey on the other side of the room, I started about designing the next evolution of the game Jenga.

I experimented with many different kinds of constructions and building algorithms, even multiple towers and installations.

Yet in the end, I believe quite strongly, to have hit the jackpot.

So here it is… Jengaagain.

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Jepps Comic #1

Jepps Comic #1
Click to enlarge.
Here is the first ever edition of the Jepps Comic, a short newspaper type strip I created some years ago. It is about two like-minded but variably friendly identical twins.

You will get to know them and discover their personalities. Mostly, whilst the guy on the right is often the maturest, the guy on the left is more often on the correct side of the Moon!

I will post the subsequent episodes as time goes on. I made a total of 18 originally, but if the mood captures me and I feel I could improve the humour, I might start making more again.

You can find all episodes of this comic at the following category: comic.

Kalimbawu ~ Chromatic Thumb Piano

Kalimbawu By Simon Jepps
The Kalimbawu or Double Kalimba
It took a long time, but in the end my years of research, pouring over numerous photos of various different kinds of thumb pianos eventually paid off.

Here is my invention, the Kalimbawu.

It gets its name by borrowing the term “Ba wu” from the Chinese flute of that name, meaning “him” and “her”.

Whilst not a reed instrument, the metal tongues of the Kalimba do resemble the shape of the Bawu flute’s reed. Also as I will explain, the Kalimbawu features two voices, one male and one female.

If that’s not an excuse, the word just works!

The Kalimba, also referred to as a “thumb piano”, is a modern variant of the African Mbira, developed by Hugh Tracey and which features a Westernised tuning system.

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Wallooning

WallooningThe sport of Wallooning involves the application of two or more strategically adept individuals into a challenge of water pistols and balloons.

The rules are very simple.

Each player must try to keep their own balloon airborne by shooting at it each time it begins to descend towards the ground.

If a player’s balloon touches the ground then that player loses the round and the opponent is awarded one point.

However, players may also shoot at each others’ balloons in attempt to burst their opponent’s balloon.

If a player’s balloon bursts then that player loses the round and the opponent is awarded one point.

Additionally, players may also shoot at each other. This is considered an advanced tactic, which when employed decisively, can completely ruin your opponent’s chances of success.

Beware however, shooting at your opponent may not always produce the desired result.

A bonus point is awarded to any player who successfully fires his own balloon into his opponent’s, providing his own balloon does not burst during the collision.

Note; doing this is not a sign of affection and may instead cause you undue stress.

Each game lasts five, six, seven or eight rounds. Occasionally it can stretch to nine or ten rounds.

During the hot seasons players may keep going all day long until they can no longer see their balloons, either because it is now too dark, or because they are too sloshed to see clearly.

In any case, there are definitely rounds, but certainly no cubes.

Wallooning was invented by Simon Jepps one summer in 2018 whilst watching aeroplanes flying in squares above his house.

He still drinks Banangerang.

Martian Snowball

Martian Snowball by Simon JeppsHere is another good recipe of mine. This is the really good stuff, a splendid medication for your stressful pains.

I will say in advance, Martian Snowball is very addictive and will go down very comfortably with a large bag of dry roasted peanuts.

  • One good shot of Advocaat.
  • Fill glass with Ginger Beer.

The correct size glass is a standard tall tumbler, but any will do, to your preference.

Stir them up with a teaspoon for a few seconds to get them well acquainted.

It will froth like heaven, so be sure to keep a towel handy in case it over fills.

Live long and prosper!

Cha’nga

Chaturanga
Chaturanga is the sacred origin of a pastime
Rekindling an ancient pastime, by Simon Jepps.

Cha’nga, pronounced “shangaah”, is a version of Chaturanga, which allows just two players to employ the classic four armies.

I invented this game because I know as much as people love Chaturanga, its inconvenience is the requirement of four players.

Creating an understanding as to how only two people can play, in turn sanctifies its misunderstood silence, revealing instead its diversity and adaptability to all walks of life.

But first a truth.

However you interpret history, there is no avoiding the fact that “Chaturanga” literally translates as “the four arms.” It comes from “chatur”, meaning four, and from “anga”, meaning arms.

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