Father, Son & Petroleum Spirit: The British Imperial War On PETs

War On Pets British Empire
Just a sample of the personal electric vehicles banned from public spaces. Aren’t they beautiful?
PETs, or Personal Electric Transportation, are a rapidly growing form of small one person vehicles, powered by an electric motor and which generally reach a top speed of anywhere from 10mph up to 30mph, depending on their design.

They are mostly invented and produced overseas in places like Europe and the USA where looser rules and laws grant people the liberty to use them in public spaces, almost in some cases, as you would a regular vehicle.

They are without a shadow of a doubt the answer to our stinking, overcrowded car centric gas chambers, which our fascist British leaders like to call “greener cities”.

What a petrol headed lie.

“Illegal” is actually the only word a British Citizen may employ to describe these divine marvels of engineering.

For in this country, due to numerous legislative factors involving the licensing, classification and insuring of all vehicles, PETs may only be ridden in one place and one place only… your garden.

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FA(C)T

simon jepps fat bikeCycle to work much? Myself, everyday.

I know what you’re thinking… “What, is that?” This my good reader, is known as a FAT BIKE and they are gaining ground very fast. Yes, literally.

It is amazing how few people cycle, merely because they have been conditioned to drive. Yet if you pass them an analogue hand-drill and say, “Drill through that piece of metal”, they will without any effort whatsoever.

Cycling is no different and as my FAT BIKE above will testify, the size of your wheels are irrelevant to the phenomena that is GEARS. In fact there are actually many benefits to commuting on fat tyres and these I will now explain.

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