Father, Son & Petroleum Spirit: The British Imperial War On PETs

War On Pets British Empire
Just a sample of the personal electric vehicles banned from public spaces. Aren’t they beautiful?
PETs, or Personal Electric Transportation, are a rapidly growing form of small one person vehicles, powered by an electric motor and which generally reach a top speed of anywhere from 10mph up to 30mph, depending on their design.

They are mostly invented and produced overseas in places like Europe and the USA where looser rules and laws grant people the liberty to use them in public spaces, almost in some cases, as you would a regular vehicle.

They are without a shadow of a doubt the answer to our stinking, overcrowded car centric gas chambers, which our fascist British leaders like to call “greener cities”.

What a petrol headed lie.

“Illegal” is actually the only word a British Citizen may employ to describe these divine marvels of engineering.

For in this country, due to numerous legislative factors involving the licensing, classification and insuring of all vehicles, PETs may only be ridden in one place and one place only… your garden.

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The Flag Of Cornissia

Flag Of Cornissia
Flag Of Cornissia
YllwChlk is proud to present the design for a Cornissian flag, following the recent decision to pursue the promotion of South West independence.

Flag design is always a fascinating subject and I myself have often spent many hours browsing through all the nation flags of the world, amazed and inspired by their seemingly abstract self portraits of cultural identity.

Which is what a flag is, I suppose.

Here then the Flag Of Cornissia attempts to convey the same announcement of cultural identity.

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The Country Of Cornissia

The Country Of Cornissia
Cornissia
The proposed name by YllwChlk for the independent country, declared formerly the South West counties of England.
South West independence is not a pipe dream. Far from it.

In fact, whilst not mentioned or discussed in the media to any great detail, it is nevertheless talked about in the towns, the parks and indeed on the streets of this great region.

The region here highlighted on the map, is the entire South West and if you do some research, you will discover that this region like many other devolved regions, such as Scotland and Wales, has its own language, its own culture, is historically Celtic by nature, identifies entirely as a separate people from London and is completely unique in its own sovereignty.

YllwChlk has called it Cornissia because historically, the region of Cornwall was itself a truly sovereign state with its own autonomous infrastructure and so politically, it would be sensible to allow Cornwall administrative domain of the entire South West.

Pronounced “cor-niss-see-a”, thus differentiating the Cornish as specifically the people of Cornwall and Cornissians as the greater population of Cornissia, its name sings a beauty like the sun upon the seas, a silhouette of a sail and the crushing waves upon a scone coloured coast, as the enchanting lights of Truro begin to dance upon the dusk brushed sky.

In fact once upon a time, Cornwall was its own country and has itself suffered the many pains of foreign rule. Just like Scotland. Just like Wales. Just like Ireland. Just like…. India… China… erm… well, you get the idea.

Today, the undying Celtic heart of the South West and indeed also of the rest of Britain, is beginning to raise its voice.

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Cornish Blue ~ Ye English Cheese

Finally, it has been found!

If you ask anyone from England to name a famous cheese they will probably say “Stilton”.

You find it in all the Christmas Box Selections pumped out every year by all the supermarkets and it is forever hailed as “The English Pride & Glory” of blue cheese.

But this is about as accurate as a squirrel on the moon chasing a pink lama up a tree.

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Thine Good Mug

Thine Good MugLike many of us, my most personally cherished “mug” has been a discovery of a lifetime.

I say this because, regardless of the many drinking vessels I have acquired over the years, each and every one of these has purely been a “step up” from the last, towards a perceived eventuality of finding… my perfect mug.

I don’t know how many of you reading this might relate to this humble phenomena, but in a general sweep of the social rumblings, I would be inclined to regard this as true for many others.

Ten years ago I acquired my grandparents’ French Soup Bowls, which are small as bowls go, but large as coffee mugs… um, go. They have handles and also… they have lids.

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Cha’nga

Chaturanga
Chaturanga is the sacred origin of a pastime
Rekindling an ancient pastime, by Simon Jepps.

Cha’nga, pronounced “shangaah”, is a version of Chaturanga, which allows just two players to employ the classic four armies.

I invented this game because I know as much as people love Chaturanga, its inconvenience is the requirement of four players.

Creating an understanding as to how only two people can play, in turn sanctifies its misunderstood silence, revealing instead its diversity and adaptability to all walks of life.

But first a truth.

However you interpret history, there is no avoiding the fact that “Chaturanga” literally translates as “the four arms.” It comes from “chatur”, meaning four, and from “anga”, meaning arms.

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FA(C)T

simon jepps fat bikeCycle to work much? Myself, everyday.

I know what you’re thinking… “What, is that?” This my good reader, is known as a FAT BIKE and they are gaining ground very fast. Yes, literally.

It is amazing how few people cycle, merely because they have been conditioned to drive. Yet if you pass them an analogue hand-drill and say, “Drill through that piece of metal”, they will without any effort whatsoever.

Cycling is no different and as my FAT BIKE above will testify, the size of your wheels are irrelevant to the phenomena that is GEARS. In fact there are actually many benefits to commuting on fat tyres and these I will now explain.

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