Father, Son & Petroleum Spirit: The British Imperial War On PETs

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War On Pets British Empire
Just a sample of the personal electric vehicles banned from public spaces. Aren’t they beautiful?
PETs, or Personal Electric Transportation, are a rapidly growing form of small one person vehicles, powered by an electric motor and which generally reach a top speed of anywhere from 10mph up to 30mph, depending on their design.

They are mostly invented and produced overseas in places like Europe and the USA where looser rules and laws grant people the liberty to use them in public spaces, almost in some cases, as you would a regular vehicle.

They are without a shadow of a doubt the answer to our stinking, overcrowded car centric gas chambers, which our fascist British leaders like to call “greener cities”.

What a petrol headed lie.

“Illegal” is actually the only word a British Citizen may employ to describe these divine marvels of engineering.

For in this country, due to numerous legislative factors involving the licensing, classification and insuring of all vehicles, PETs may only be ridden in one place and one place only… your garden.

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One’s Own Royal Cash

Flag Of Panceltainia
Flag Of Panceltainia
A recent article by The Sun newspaper says the Queen of England plans to fund £500k Sandringham repairs… wait for it… “with her own cash”.

Whoopie dooo! But wait, you mean as opposed to applying for a poverty grant?

Queen Requests Poverty Grant To Heat Palaces

Forgive me for not minding my princes and queens, but isn’t that a bit… morally self removing?

Hang on, let me universally translate:

The sick and poorly must sacrifice their wellbeing for the Queen’s extravagant comfort.

Yes, read that headline again, you’ve probably forgotten already.

Didn’t she also recently buy a $7.9m apartment in New York… with her own cash?

Now, if either you or I were to make a claim for a Poverty Grant and then buy up a $7.9m apartment in New York, we would expect the Serious Fraud squad to arrive on our doorsteps rather quick.

Yet of course, the Queen and Monarchy in general are obviously exempt from such things like serious jail time and erm… abolishment.

Holy golly gosh, who’s wearing what, who smiled at who, guess what she said and did you know this little tit for tat tut tut…. pish.

Honestly, all these cheap and cheerful royal family soap opera articles are designed only to distract from her unpopular image and to manufacture a popular image instead.

Who cares what her Corgis have for breakfast?

Crumbs. Has she considered selling Canada? Or perhaps Australia? That might pay for a few things.

I find it disgusting how the monarchy keep this plastic and almost satirical media narrative going in a pathetic attempt to justify their own existence.

You’ve got to see the blatant farce here. Reverse psychology? More like reverse parking.

Apparently the Queen is estimated to be worth around £300m, at this time and costs the public purse £36.2m each year, including £359,000 paid directly by the Government to Prince Philip.

Budget flights look great on camera, don’t they? Imagine all the Champagne you can buy now!

Say “CHEESE”.

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My Three Words & A Quote On British Politics

Labour + Tory =

Laboratory

” Bin Laden was, though, a product of a monumental miscalculation by Western security agencies. Throughout the 80s he was armed by the CIA and funded by the Saudis to wage jihad against the Russian occupation of Afghanistan. Al-Qaeda, literally “the database”, was originally the computer file of the thousands of mujahideen who were recruited and trained with help from the CIA to defeat the Russians. ” ~ Robin Cook, MP