Boris Johnson’s Coronavirus Letter

Flag of Panceltainia
Flag of Panceltainia
You want my advice? Don’t open the letter.

Why can’t they just publish it online? Who is handling the mail? Nobody ELSE is opening or receiving mail and so NEITHER SHOULD YOU.

Mr. Johnson has managed to communicate with us through the other mediums quite suitably so far.

Therefore, we the people of “Britain” demand to know why we are being sent unnecessary mail during a pandemic lockdown.

Is it because the government is retarded when it comes to using email? We understand vital EU life support ventilator correspondence recently went “unnoticed” in your spam folder.

Are you really sending EVERYBODY this letter, or is it only proEuropeans?

You see, Mr. “prime minister”, if that letter does happen to be infected, a very close friend of mine will die.

You have the virus yourself, don’t you? And you are going to send us this “item” at a cost of £5.8m?

I suggest you find a new job.

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Paper Aeroplane

I see a boy,
Out on the plane,
With a toy,
A paper aeroplane.
Who knows
Where it’ll fly to,
Its paper nose
And its paper crew.
They’ve closed the door,
Their backs to each other.
They’re at war,
No care for one another.
Jokers in the moonlight,
Batman meets his doom.
Why do they fight
Over the mushroom?
Is this the end to all we see?
Finishing all this endless misery?
Is this how God wanted it to be,
When he formed the earth
And surrounded it with sea?
Lions in the mirror of parliament,
People drinking whiskey
And bathing in milk.
Lions in the mirror of parliament.
This is how it will end.

~ Simon Jepps, 1994 (Aged 15)

The Squire Of Celtainia

Squire Of CeltainiaCornissia, like the other Celtic countries of these lands, would be a dear Republic. That is to say, a country without a Monarchy or King and Queen.

A republic is a form of government in which the country is considered a “public matter”, its laws decided by a process of democracy and is not ever to be the private property of an unelected or hereditory ruler. A republic is thus the opposing form of government to a monarchy and has therefore no monarch as head of state.

The problem with “Britain” is that it has been conditioned for centuries to admire the regular parading of an authoritative figure dressed in gold and rubies, yet who has no say in political matters only the declaration of war… and even though this tradition makes absolutely no democratic sense.

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Jepps Comic #1

Jepps Comic #1
Click to enlarge.
Here is the first ever edition of the Jepps Comic, a short newspaper type strip I created some years ago. It is about two like-minded but variably friendly identical twins.

You will get to know them and discover their personalities. Mostly, whilst the guy on the right is often the maturest, the guy on the left is more often on the correct side of the Moon!

I will post the subsequent episodes as time goes on. I made a total of 18 originally, but if the mood captures me and I feel I could improve the humour, I might start making more again.

You can find all episodes of this comic at the following category: comic.